The last few years, I've been spending a lot of money to feel safer. My house got broken into, and there was trouble down the street, where, rumor has it, a pretty dangerous guy lived. So, I ponied up some extra money, and after getting some more security, and calling the cops on that guy, I am feeling much better.
I just never seem to get caught up. Between paying for school, and my security system, and my insurance, my money goes away faster than I can make it. Plus, every year, things are just a little more expensive. I just found out that since my company hasn't been doing as well, my pay is being cut.
Then, if that wasn't enough, my uncle called... Turns out, he bought a new house last year. He rented his old place out to two different families, thinking he could pay for his new place with their rent. Now, it turns out both families are broke, and can't pay him- so he can't pay his mortgage either! Now he wants me to bail him out... I just don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm getting burned out trying to get caught up. I need a plan. Wait! I've got it!
If I borrow like four times as much money as I did last year, I can pay for everything! I can set aside money for my Uncle, because even though he's been pretty irresponsible in the past, I'm sure he'll mend his ways and pay me back. I can ....
You know what? I ran out of satire in that last paragraph. I read something today about a 1.8 TRILLION dollar deficit, followed by a 1.4 TRILLION dollar deficit. You know what? Bush was fucking TERRIBLE, and his worst year clocked in at 459 Billion. Those numbers aren't even something normal people can wrap a head around.
If 1 billion = 1, 1 trillion = 1,000. So, if Bush spent $459 more than he made, Obama is planning to spend 1,800 more than he is gonna make. In other words, Bush's worst MULTIPLIED BY 3.92. I'm not saying McCain would have been any better- he voted for the same bailout. But, and I'm gonna say this the only way I know how, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IN A CHICKEN BASKET. In the the world we live in today, do you know the only thing I could spend 1.4 TRILLION dollars on with a clean conscience? Guns. and Bullets. Then I'd hand them to everyone in Washington, and start over again.
